I am already shaking. and I was doing so good before. maybe not great...but at least I wasn't thinking too much about it, which helped. and now I'm shaking. it's not fair. I wish I was one of those people who was meant to speak...well maybe not that. but I wish I didn't get an anxiety attack every time I was in front of an audience. I mean....I have done a fair number of things on stage and front of groups - lots of band concerts, talks at church, jr. miss, miss moses lake. okay, well just a few things...but this really shouldn't bother me the way it does. but yet - it does.
and I am so panicked that I do not have the right audience. who am I supposed to be talking to? the actual audience of our friends and family? or my classmates? I am trying to combine the two...but I just don't know.
and is 3 minutes too short? because that's what I have right now. and I can't figure out how to fill it up. I mean...if I spoke well I could probably talk for days about all of our experiences...but we don't have that kind of time. so I leave it out...but then is it too impersonal without the stories? or does having stories make it too unprofessional?
ahh...make the shaking stop!
I told my friend/classmate that I am going to bring folders and put them up around the podium when I get up. I've decided that I will say, "I apologize for the fact that you can't see me. but if I can't see you I know that I might be able to get through this without having a panic attack..." she told me that I couldn't do that. but it sounds pretty funny, no?
I don't know why I wanted to do this. why I do this to myself. I am not an eloquent speaker. I don't have anything spectacular to say.
just breathe...in...out...in...out....
3 comments:
You'll do just great. I know what you mean about shaking isn't that terrible. I hate it how you want it to stop, but can't make it. Also just a small thought, I can't remember who spoke at my graduations not high school or college. Can you? I definitely don't remember anything they said. Not that it wasn't important at the time. I thought you might find comfort that in the long run, no one will probably remember what you say. I hope this helps because that is what I want it to do. I truly think though that you will do a fantastic job. Good luck!
just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming.
I loved the speech. Even if you read it at a million miles an hour with your knees shaking uncontrollably, the message of it is clear and empowering. Good luck today!
thanks so much for all of the support!
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