if you can't join them...try the next best thing

since graduating from high school eight years ago I have attended four different colleges or universities, and graduated with two different bachelors degrees. I have held countless numbers of jobs (okay 16, I counted), usually lasting the length of the school year, a semester, or the summer. I have moved 14 different times, and moved back home four times.

and I have been on a grand total of less than 10 dates.

being lds and single at my age is hard at times. especially in moses lake, when 26 means I am one of the oldest people in my singles ward. it probably wouldn't be that big of a deal if I was more confident in myself and actually went out of my way to make friends. but it's easier to say that it's someone's responsibility to be friends with me and make me feel comfortable. but I digress...

people my age are supposed to be getting married and having babies. like the countless number of friends I have are doing. and even with all of my other accomplishments, it's the place in life that I would love to be...but I am nowhere close to.

so if I can't be there myself, I think that I finally have the next best thing - a full time job working on the mother and baby unit at the local hospital!

I have been working there on a per diem status (on call) since the beginning of july. they have been orienting me to the unit, so I have actually had full time hours, but no benefits. and once it was decided I had enough orientation, they were going to have me be an actual per diem employee - picking up the scraps of extra shifts that they couldn't fill or no other full time employee wanted to pick up as extra.

so early on I started looking for a full time job. one where I was guaranteed 36 hours a week. and one with benefits. and for some reason I started talking to my manager at the hospital about my needs, so she didn't feel blindsided when I took a different job somewhere else. and this open communication has actually really helped me out.

anyway...it has been kind of a crazy ride since I took the per diem position at the hospital. soon after I started orientation and talked to my manager about my need for a full time position. and then I started applying to a bunch of different jobs - both in washington and in utah. and then one wednesday a few weeks ago I had two interviews - on was in kennewick at kgh for a position as a labor and delivery nurse, and the other was at primary children's hospital in salt lake for a position on the neuroscience trauma unit. when I found out about the interviews I started getting a little anxious. no, a lot. because I realized that I liked working where I was (again, mother/baby - post partum for those who have gotten confused by my ramblings). and that job was in kennewick. but utah seemed to have better social options for me. (see above).

so I prayed that I would only be offered the position that I was supposed to get. not both so I would have to chose. and then I went to the interviews.

and it was strange. before the first interview (in kennewick) I felt like if I was offered both positions, I would chose that one. it was a position I wanted for a higher wage. but the interview was awful. a total dud. and it was honestly not my fault. the manager kept interrupting me while I was answering her questions, saying, "it sounds like you're trying to say...." and then move on to the next question. to her credit, her unit was going to have a surprise inspection from the department of health that morning, and she was a little preoccupied. and they wanted me to start the next monday, which I couldn't do if I wanted to give notice where I was working. it was still a terrible interview.

so I went to my aunt's house for my second interview. a phone interview with the manager of the neuroscience trauma unit at primary children's in utah. and the interview was amazing. like night and day from that morning. I walked away knowing that I was going to get offered a job there. the problem was that I was not sure if it was a unit that I really wanted work.

the next day (or the day after, my memory is kind of fuzzy), I got a couple more phone calls from utah. it was for a position for a new grad residency. that pretty much means that I would do this residency and do three rotations of two weeks each on different units that I was interested in. during that time I would apply for open positions. and when they hired me to a unit, I would finish my orientation (about 6+ weeks) on that unit.

I was ecstatic for that interview. it had the potential to be for a unit that I really wanted to work (l&d) but also the social prospects of living in utah.

the interview was in utah for the following thursday. on tuesday at work my manager pulled me into her office, knowing I was leaving the next day for the interview in utah, and told me that there was nothing official, but there was most likely going to be two full time positions opening up in a couple of weeks. agh!!! more options! I don't like having options!

so wednesday, a week after my previous interviews, I drove down to utah with my mom. I had heard from kgh - they liked me but didn't want me. and I was waiting to hear back from primary children's. they had previously told me that I would know that wednesday. but I didn't hear at all on the drive down. thursday I went to the interview in salt lake. and it was there that I found out that they were interviewing 50 people for 10-15 positions. but I still had hope. after my interview I went up to primary children's to visit the hospital and the unit. and when my mom and I walked in and up to the unit, we both felt like it wasn't quite right. I don't know why - it's a great hospital, but it just didn't feel right.

I started to get seriously stressed out. so stressed out that on that saturday I had my first ever migraine. on monday I was offered the position for the neuroscience trauma unit, but I did not get the position for the other utah job. and I found out that a position had indeed opened up at the hospital I was working at, and that I needed to fill out a transfer request if I wanted it. which I did.

but had a huge decision. I wasn't going to find out about the job in moses lake until after I had to tell utah if I wanted the job or not. and I had another at migraine work the next tuesday. and then at home on thursday.

and on friday I decided. I turned down the job in utah. and even though there was the possibility that I wasn't going to get the job in moses lake, I realized that I wanted that opportunity. and if I didn't get the job, I was going to apply for more jobs after I found out for sure.

ten days after I turned down the utah job, I was finally offered the job in moses lake! I am going to be moving to nights for september because they are so short and need a post partum nurse. and I will be on my own (with the ability to still ask questions if I encounter something I haven't before). and then in october I will move back to days and start orienting to labor and delivery!

I am really excited, even if I am in moses lake for awhile. and even though I am not where I thought I would be with my life at least I'll be helping the people who are.