hard times

a little while ago the hospital that I work at announced that they are in a lot of debt, and that they were continuing to spend too much money on employee salaries. at the time of the announcement the solution to the problem was going to go on a kind of hiring freeze, and to not fill any vacancies caused by people quitting or retiring.

apparently that didn't work.

so they're new solution is to change the way each floor does their staffing, and to start laying people off. I have been a little worried about what that would mean for me. I am technically the last person hired to a full time position on the floor. I thought for sure that if someone was going to go, it was going to be me. I voiced my concerns to my manager at our weekly meeting last week (as a new grad/orientee, I meet with my manager on a weekly basis to discuss my orientation). she said that she couldn't really answer any of my questions, but told me not to fret.

that was last friday.

so I spent the weekend in vancouver (wa) helping my aunt move to a new apartment. and after hours of discussion with my mom, I became kind of zen about the whole situation. if I was going to be laid off, then that would be what happened and I would find another job. it wouldn't be the end of the world. when I took this job I knew it was what I was supposed to be doing, and if it was time to move on, then so be it.

monday an article came out in the paper about the hospital's financial situation. and how they are planning on solving it. everyone got in a tizzy. rumors started, mostly fueled by what we read in the paper, that we would find out by friday who would stay and who would go.

and I'd like to think I remained calm. mostly.

wednesday I stopped by the hospital to drop something off for one of my co-workers. she mentioned the staff meeting that was just a few minutes away, and asked if I was going. I thought it was a good idea, and decided that I would go.

apparently that day they started making cuts. they cut all of the interpreters. some people from housekeeping. a lady from the kitchen. all of the cna's from short stay and another unit. as I walked up to the meeting one of the cna/huc/scrub techs from our unit asked if I had talked to our manager. I was confused as to why. I know I probably shouldn't have been, but I honestly was. she then said, "man, is it only me!?" and I was still confused. then she said something about not wanting to cry as we walked into the room. that's when I got it. but I couldn't ask anything.

the meeting was mostly about the new staffing grid. and everybody had questions. and everybody wanted to know who was getting the boot. but our manager wouldn't tell us. after an hour and fifteen minute meeting, she said, "if anyone wants to talk to me, I'll be in my office." and then quickly left the room. and everyone else just sat. mostly stunned. and then they all started talking. the cna told all of us that she she had been offered a pittance of a severance package, or she could work one day a week. but with the new staffing grid we have to have 5 patients on the floor the day she is working in order for her to come in. we don't always have 5 patients on the floor. then everybody started getting mad. and one of the charge nurses suggested that we all talk to our union rep. there was a lot more discussion about who various people who had been asked to leave, or their hours had been cut, and then the unofficial meeting broke up.

I probably could have gone down the the manager's office and asked her point blank. but part of me didn't want to know. and part of me was still very calm. I guess I figured that I couldn't change what was going to happen. and if she needed to talk to me, she would.

that night I saw the status update on facebook of a friend. she is actually the person who interviewed for the initial full-time job, and got it when I was offered per diem. she hadn't been asked to leave the hospital, but they were changing her department. she had been told that she would be a float pool nurse, and not just work in the mother and baby unit.

that night is when I started feeling really sick. I couldn't sleep. I think it was almost three when I finally did fall asleep, and I had to wake up at 5:45 for work that morning.

which brings me to thursday/yesterday. I had my weekly meeting scheduled with my manager scheduled for 3:00pm. all morning we found out about the various changes they were making in the department. it was mostly cna/huc/scrubs, but one nurse, who only does post-partum was told that she needed to be able to do all aspects of the job. when she said that she couldn't, they offered her a package. another nurse, who was an lpn, was asked to leave at the end of the month. she told them she couldn't do that, and left that day. it was a pretty traumatic day.

then 3:00 rolled around. I went to the manager's office for my meeting. she asked me how I was doing. I told her that I figured if she had something to say to me, then she would.

she told me that I would still be a full time employee on the mother and baby unit.

how is this possible? I keep asking myself that same question. apparently it all boils down to not exactly when you were hired, but the number of hours worked. I was hired, albeit per diem, but hired at the hospital two weeks before the other girl. so I have worked two weeks more than her. actually I was hired the same day as another girl on the floor. she has experience as a l&d nurse, and went directly to nights. but we started the same day. and the way it plays out with number of hours worked, apparently I have even worked a few more than her because of an extra shift that I picked up.

so now, I feel happy. and guilty. I am so grateful to still have this job. but I feel awful that so many people don't anymore - and that I do. it's a weird place to be.